i haven been updated to the happenings around me these days
well yeahh i have been locking up at home..
okae apart frm choir and goin to Nuer's brithday tts all
i didnt even use the com hah!
yeahh i lyk the hoildaes..tis feeling makes me feel much at ease
i dont have to think about unhappy stuff at all
cuz chior n my family n my sisters make me feel tt i was worth it
well yarhh sumtyms for a split second the unhappy thgs pass by my mind
bt nt as much as b4..mayb once or twice a day?
hahs yeahh well i have been reading alot tis wk..
unbelieveable hahs well yarhh i guess
i nid to improve anw. so i jus read
bt the fact is i haven even start on my hmewrk yet
well i have decided to dump them all to next wk
well i wuldnt hurt cuz nex wk i'm free
apart frm tuition n mayb shopping?
yeahh so i'm free nex wk the folowing wk thrs camp ^^
hahs guess wad i cnt wait..yarhh cnt wait to put off sum weight hahs
well tis wk happen alot in my lala wrld..
my mather dun let me xtend my whole head..
wth she took the hairstylist's advice=.=
he says that if my hair is not strong i may go bald..
yarhh due to the "aft" thg?
u noe whn u wanna take out the xtentions or whn thy fall out
yarhh i may go blad..well my mather was obviousli nt willing to make me bald
i have no choice though my hair is weak..
haiix bt she agreed to let me xtend abit though
hahs bt tt means i cnt dye either=.=
my mather is goin bac on all her wrds>X(
i'm nt veri please wif it either..
well todae was hilarious!
choir i n clarissa n cassandra n kexin were laughing crazy
hahs we faced the guys whn we sing bt thn sum of the junior..
hahs yarhh thier faces! omg i laugh lyk hell man!
well sry i noe its bad bt we cnt help it
the min i saw it i laugh thn cher was lyk"wad r u all laughing at?"
lol thn Mr tan n Ms tan came to choir =O
yarhh mr tan lehh! i was lyk "cher u cum bac arh?"
thn he sae" why he cnt cum bac.."
lol thn asked me weather our clas hist gd? i was lyk hai okae..
well at least i think its okae..
well tis post seems long bt i will post mayb once or twice a wk
tmr my mather say wan go airport 0.0 hahs
well tts all cnt wait for camp!

well tis few daes i jus feel lyk MIA frm the wrld for awhile
yeahh dunoe yy so i wun b sms-ing,msn-ing,blogging or corling muchh
nid a break hahs well yeahh u cn sae i wil b in lala land for a while hahs well
the idea is nt tt bad anw..hahs
to everi1 takariies during the holidaes n rmb to du hmewrk hahs
jiayou!

well, i didnt use the com ystd hahs (sry LOVER haven du yr quiz. du whn i haf tym okae?)
well yeahh anw ystd went out til 11pm hahs
yeahh went to Ws thn sat thr n tok to my mather
i lurve her so much
she understs me the most, well we sat thr n i told her abt my recent stuff
lyk emo-ing n all hahs yeahh
turns out tt she understs she even said tt wad i told her she has gone through b4..
omg..she xplains to me n all
n i finalli noe hw to deal wif life ahead
she sae tt its okae if i haf anithg cn tel her
i so lurve her. well thn we sat thr thn i n my sis hear she sae n we sae until we cry..
okae quite pathetic bt thn haiix nvm
so tok until 11 lyk tt lorhh hahs
thn my sis tel my mather abt her stead..
hahs yeah my mather nv nag..she jus gif us tips n all hahs yeahh
shes the best yeahh
my father cored ystd nite hahs
well asked hym abt my reward hahs well i dunoe wad i wan yet though
grandmather n uncle is cuming bac tmr hahs
YAY!! gonna surprise thm wif my results cnt wait.
well its seems tt whn time chngs ppl chng..well
its okae i will go through it all
bcuz tts wad buddah wans me to go through hahs
YAH! jiayou vivien!

its late..i haf a sudden tot
i realise wad i haf done r all bull shit
emo..hahs yeahh it makes me sad..bt thn yeahh
for the consequences i pay..i regret emoing
well mayb i jus tink too much
well i haf a sudden inspiration to post..
wad i shuld nv du:
nv take thgs for granted
nv take frenship for granted
nv emo whn u nid nt to
nv make others wry
nv hurt yrself
nv take care n concern for granted
nv tink too much
nv make empty promises
nv hurt others unles thrs a nid to
nv lie whn u dont nid to
nv commit suiside whn u r nt prepared to..
okae..
nv cry over nthg
nv hate yrself..
well yeahh tts abt it..if i ever commit ani of tis "crimes"
my i promise my holidaes wil b a disaster.
well yeahh hahs i feel much better oreadi
recentli i wasnt reali sociable..
i felt abit locked up..bt a tot kept me alive
if others arnd me r happi, i m contented.
if my grades is wad matters to my mather
i wil study if shes happi
if my frens wan to disturb me
as long as its nt too over, i wun mind..
well as long thy r happi
if my sister nids my help
i wuld help,as long she is happi
i finalli noe the purpose tt i live wif
for me n for ppl hu care for me
vivien u can do it!

hahs yeahh ystd HX hse was fun..
yeahh thy dam funi larhh hahs
dolyn n Hx
yeahh both crazy zha borhh okae fine
crazy cuz over thr compare stead== hahs
i was lyk laughing all the wae larhh hahs
hahs yeahh so funi larhh nn omg
dolyn showed us OMG!! hahs yeashh Hx gt so aggitated..
lol yarhh larhh hahs thn dolyn bang her head on the bed(bunk beds)
yeahh so funi, twice sumore larhh
okae thn she sort of walk hme wif me half wae hahs
yeahh todae was..hmm..
sad in the morning bt whn i c novyy n melody i feel better^^ hahs yeahh
thn aft tt..hmm..yeahh i feel perfect the whole dae..
esp. for mayb sum parts bt overal was pretty gd hahs
yeahh went to met my mather @ 2.30? yarhh so long
i super duper hungry larhh.
okae thn went to eat SUSHI!!~ hahs yarhh
okae lorhh hahs quite nice..
bt shuld haf gone sakae instead..
saw carmen mei n wenwen NUer hahs ^^
hahs okae so eat oreadi went to sku..(went bac for PTC)
pathetic..Mr chee tok dam long larhh
thn isabelle n larry waiting for shermaine n her mum
so funi larhh we 3 haf conference..
yarhh lame its lyk oni 2 meters awae larhh== hahs
okae thn melody cored..tok awhile cor my mather in
kns..cor earlier marhh
okae thn tok blah blah blah
heng nthg bad abt me ^^ yay!
okae so went hme watch tv..thn nw use com
hahs nn yeahh i jus bath cum out.. hahs
oake..nthg much gonna stay up til 1 am i guess?

i finali underst more of life lerhh
yeahh it jus suddenli hit me tt i shuld nt b in tis state..
nw even if i m sad..i wuld oni b for a few mins? yeahh
i dunoe yy bt i cnt emo animore? hahs
tts great news cuz i dont wanna b aniwe hahs yeahh
cuz my frens will be sad n furstrated hahs yeahh
emo u shoooo~dont find me animore horhh!!
hahs yeahh actauali aft emo left i haf server lose of appetite.
dont noe izit i tink to much larhh bt thn i haf to force food in if nt i cnt eat
n oso i feel lyk vomiting hahs yeahh bt thn its okae
i nid to gt stabalised hahs n yeash holidaes! i cn use the tym hahs
yeahh jus nw went to eat wif novyy thy all hahs yeahh
i nid to apologize for the past nn i hope the future will b beta
i will nv regret bing frens wif u guys !
u r the ones i first noe n the first 1s to teach me mani thgs
i own u guys alot nn i lurve u al no matter wad hapen,
i wil nv regret meeting u guys^^
well sry tt i had to leave earlier cuz cnt eat n i nid to met my frens
well yeahh bt i hope u guys cn underst hahs^^
nw @ HX siser hse hahas yeahh
cored shifu(dolyn) to cum over hahs
yeahh missed thm alt nn i own thm alot too
thy r reali my reali true frens since pri skus
although we r frm diff skus we underst n lurve each other hahs
yeahh thy r the best^^ hahs thy noe evevrithg..although we used to argue
well tts all in the past! its the future tt we live for
we live for a purpose ^^ hahs we live for ourselves n no1 else^^ yeashhh!
for tis past 1/2 year i learnt alot n underst alot.
i finali underst life alitte. i stil haf a long wae to go
vivien jiayou barhh~

(posted on 21.05.08 for 3 hrs. took it off cuz scared mather c..)

tdy went to popo hse hahs yeahh my cuzon hse larhh
okae..so went thr arnd 3? lol yeahh thn my cuzons aft awhile nid go out
okae my 2 cuzons both guys 1 surving NS 1 wrking hahs
okae nt bad luking larhh hahs
of cuz larhh my cuzon marhh hahs..== okae..
so i watch MTV chinese..lyk OMG
hahs yeahh i was totali crazy cuz my hse dun haf marhh
so i watched it..omg so mani cool cool derh ads..hahs
C.C lemon hahs thn stil gt 1 is on a show?
yarhh wad..hmm let me tink arhh its "九降風" or sumthg lyk tt..hahs
oake anw i wan watch tt oso..okae..
thn aft tt gt the 东洋排行榜 show thgy.
okae so i watch till i gt mad..nt cuz the guys whr hot..
all koreans n japan artist but cuz the song totali OMG-ing



lol hahs tis song is by Aqua timez-虹
yarhh 1 of the top 10 hahs yeahh
nice lorhh hahs its nice

actuali thrs another song by WaT-超越时空
bt thn i cnt find..lol hahs yeahh tts nice oso
hahs yeahh tts abt it larhh hahs

tmr i goin wif my cuzon hahs
yeahh yeahh tmr go thiong baruh thn aft tt horhh go city hall
yeahh shopping hahs yarhh ^^
anw i predicted so li hai
i fel sick lerhh hahs yeahh
sad case bt thn hahs nvm cnt wait for daes to past

okae..so earlier in the dae grandaughter sms me sae she go malaysia..
thn tmr cum bac..okae thn i was..okae gd happi i a wae
went to du SHOPPING!! omg
so fun n joyous..its veri rare for me to b so happi u noe
well yeahh i surpose cuz i was preoccupied by all tose clths..
hahs yarhh i bought..okae my mather buy for me larhh
hahs yeaahhh shirt,t-shirt,accesorries,watch blah blah blah
yeahh so happi..bt oso veri tired larhh
told my mather abt xtending my hair hahs
she nag nag larhh bt okae larhh cn dye oso cuz nt my hair
she nag cuz sae waste $$..lol okae bt i stil wan anw..
thn nw i sit here..hahs yeahh i read al tose tags..
well thx everi1 u all r lurved..hahs bt thn novyy,
1.6.08 wil b a happi dae for me^^ hahs okae mayb nt to u guys..
bt to me i wil b hahs i cnt wait to break free omg
hahs yeahh dun wry either, i wil b fine..i wil b fine
lol holi haf choir camp ZZZZzzzz hahs
bt thn heard i same grp as jana n benson hahs dun tink will b tt bad
gt thm sure fun derhh hahs yeahh ^^
lol so bored.. i hope i ltr stil cn b happi cuz once i emo i cnt stop..
well i hope i wun emo too cuz it stinks to b an addict to it..
its so tiring n stressful n harmful n sad..n fustrating n depress..
hahs so i dun wish to emo while i can..
bt emo oso nt too much larhh cuz if nt i cnt emo animore soon..

我长大了，我知道和明白了很多。
no one can be judge by their cover.
all is a masqurade..all that seem real are fake..
no one can tell but i somewhat can.
normally i think that i am veri naive,i believe in what everyone say to me.
to me life is easier like that rather than having doubts in one another.
however, they do appear. it cannot be helped or stopped.
trust to me is always there no matter what.
even if i was hurt deeply by anything i choose to think that everyone has a good heart within..
only some yet to discover.
the good and kind hearted may be evil; the evil and heartless may be good.
no one knows,but everyone wants to know whats behind the mask.
who doesnt?
i want to be friends with everyone..
a world with no hatered and sorrow. is that possible?
i dont know..but i hope my wish will come true.
..before its too late..
well..if any faults are found in anything
please pioint it out and clarify the problem.
do not wait until when all turns to ashes that you regret.
its veri depressing..
一起笑，一起哭，一起玩，一起闹。
不是很好吗？为什么要那么难呢？
每天开开心心的在一起，一定比每天伤心难过来的好。
那为什么不能开心而要伤心呢？
一定要有哪个需要吗？不能开心大笑大闹吗？
早知如今，何必当初呢？

ystd went ECP wif all my good fren^^ hahs
yeahh ECP..lol rollerbladded for 2 hrs..well nearli had blisters
lol sidney n me helped out wif the rest of the 4 hahs
yeahh it was okae..
well i didnt skate for 3 years..at first was wobbly bt aft tt was okae
sidney didnt skate for 1 year? yarhh hahs
lol i fall dwn once melody 8/9 tyme shuihui7 tyme? jy i not sure..hmm 3? yarhh
sidney n hengle nv fall @ all..lol hahs
anw urmm..sharon n novyy biked..the 2 rider one.
lol novyy fell dwn i tink hahs gt scratched by the bike..
okae. so aft rollerblading went to return the blades thn thy plae vb?
yarhh thy plae thn sum go buy drinks..
lol okae thn aft awhile wanted to plae @ the sand so i drew hahs the sand was great
fine sand i shuld sae hahs
yaehh nn thx to melody's great idea..i had to gt wet wif her..
u nv wuld wan to stand in between novyy n melody whn thy splasing water
melody wan splash novyy i wan splash novyy novyy wan splash us..
well in the middle = both splash u..
kns my hair n face all wet cuz of tt==
n ryte u cnt kick water @ novyy
she wil oso kick @ the same tyme..
resulting in kicking yr shin thn u kena blue black..
so pain larhh hahs novyy arh novyy ..
lol okae..so was wet so decided to gt more wet..
n thx to melody's idea of siting dwn on the waves thr..
our butts gt invaded by sand..
omg larhh so aft tt went to the showers..
n wth cnt lock @ all fuck!
bt well managed to shower n @ least fell clean
(beta thn having sand on the butt)
yarhh so went out of the shower n go find therest
thn decided to go arcade hahs
i tink it was a waste of $$ @ first
bt thn i wanted to try out the dace machine thgy..
lol gt addicted to it hahs
its totali fun lyk crazy..
we all tried..wel xcpt sidney
so i forced her to dance the para para machine hahs
cuz she sae she noe n i dunwan she nv plae
okae she reali noes hw to pale althought she claims tt she forgt..
hahs okae thn the dancing machine arhh..
lol i n novyy dance tgt hahs thn gt once
we dance all 6 rnds all same song!
it was great hahs its raining man!!
yeah tt spng was great to dance
so danced wif sharon n melody oso hahs
@ 6 we left the arcade..well yarhh
n i gt gastric hahs yarhh i ate oni breakfast the whole dae ystd
lol so aft tt nearli vomitesd blah blah blah..so
melody hegle n sidney took bus 15
thn therest took 12 which was veri far..
lol so by the tyme we rched the bus stop n the bus came.. it 7pm..
lyk wth i rched hme @ 7.50pm..
gt nagged @ all thn ate dinner thn watch tv..
so bath @ 9pm? yarhh thn went to slp..
hahs yarhh tts abt it..its a happi dae i dont wanna post hw i feel
it may spoil sum mood hahs i was happi..
well the looks of it hahs i itnk tt shuld please me well
jus 1 thg..i m afraid tt i might haf depression..haiix well lets nt tok abt tis ^^ hahs

hahs ystd went to eat..
soul garden @ TM hahs wahh dam full
feel lyk wan burst lerhh lorhh
hahs wan vomit derhh bt waste $$ marhh hahs
eat dam alot larhh goin b fat== omg hahs
lol thn went hme watch tv thn go bath
(nid bathe agn larhh #$&*^&!%$ all thx to the smoke)
okae..thn wanted to slp bt silent fren duwan
so pei silent fren..lol sry silent fren for owaes bing thr for me^^
haiix okae so emo-ed abit out of dunoe wad larhh actualli
sry silent fren(agn) okae
thn bcum sms silent fren n granduaghter hahs
tt grandaughter sae she watching a scary sad show..kns
wan me pei okae i pei thn tel me she scared==
hahs aiyo yy watch in the first place larhh? hahs
okae thn aft awhile i slpt hahs
thn todae..woke up @ hmmm..8.20?
yarhh kns so earli hahs silent fren woke up @ 8 sumthg oso i tink dunoe
lol todae horh i dam sad n angry larhh!~~!!
hahas dunoe lehh morning feel lyk crying..
aftnn feel lyk slapping silent fren(angry)
angry arhh silent fren angry @ u arhh
hmph! u bz i oso cn lorhh hmph! hahs
so angry larhh lol
bt thn silent fren promise to sing to me derhh..
i shall c!! hahs lol silent fren dun angry arhh
i dunoe i jus so angry
dun sad oso hahs hu ask u hahs
i was jus joking♥ bt i angry bt nt reali all on u
lol thn angry-ing until nw..hahs feel lyk MIA-ing
okae i shall MIA for awhile

hahs todae arhh..woke up @ 11.30?
yeahh lol received 2 sms thn replied thm
(sry NUer n grandaughter)
lol okae thn ate wad my mather bought for me
thn watch wars of the in laws or sumthg
the chn u the show?yeahh
funi lyk shit hahs maochun so cute larhh the xpression hahs
no wonder i noe sum bosco wong fanatics.. hhas
lol thn bath thn nw use com..ltr goin out eat dinner
hahs uncle driving us sumwhr yeahhs!
mather's dae dinner i shuld sae muahahahaha^^

hahs guess wad..its 11.11pm now!!

chnged blogskin too<3
hahs great! novyy oso hahs
yeahh wanna chng means chng my lifestyle..
du not emo soo soo soo much VIVIEN!
hahs i nid reminder so hope tis wil help ^.^

much happier nw hahs
i nid to b if nt ltr ppl fedup lol hahs
okae happi-ing nw hahs
n made a silent fren..0.0 hahs
lol thx silent fren i m happier nw
thx for fedding up on me hahs..lol
@ least i tink u r..
okae 6.40 lyk tt tok to melody
hahs her bro funi lyk shit
as irritating as my sis
so i sae let thm marry suan ler hahs lol melody tel her bro
sclded me..hahs thn i sae bt too bad my sis gt stead
thn melody tel her bro..her bro sae he oso haf lol
melody over thr sae if her bro haf she oso haf hahs
thn i ask if her bro shuai anot
she was lyk wanna vomit? lol hahs
thn her bro sae veri shuai thn i sae dam lyk hengle
thn aft tt she sae yarhh hahs
thn i sae go marry thn she tel her bro(*sry hengle)
thn her bro was lyk hengle is gurl or boi?
hw cum cor hengle? walao dam bad hahs
bt thn bro dam funi lyk gurl voice lyk tt hahs
thn the bro stil tink i m weiyan or hengle..
thn sae melody stead wif hengle all tt crap
i laugh until wan die hahs
thn tot i weiyan thn scld sae wad stupid weiyan
aiyo hahs her bro horh hahs

ystd..went out wif family hahs yeahh tok alot yeah
lol nite tyme called novyy thn tok until cry..haiix
cry lorhh anw nthg cn b done marhh..
haiix wad for haiix..so sad larhh
todae actuali is go out wif family go watch movie..
bt thn last min dun haf so nv lorhh haiix sad agn..
lol so went out wif melody weiyan n cassandra lorhh hahs
lol thy wan buy mather sdae present lerhh hahs i buy lerh so jus go walk
lol blah blah blah thn cassandra nid go hme lerhh
oyarh did i mention a couple go dating to dae? lol
yeahh anw thn ryte left weiyan me n melody marhh
so we walk n walk thn i gt high n shopping qi lia liao
so there fore i buy nail polish hahs oyarh n 1mm ear stick hahs
gave melody 1 cuz she can wear(surprisingly)
lol okae thn aft tt sat @ kfc to eat thn crapped
hahs complains abt all the horrible thgs..
hahs yeahh for 1 hr++ lyk tt thn thy tok bus 22 i take bus 3.
lol our bus pass each other so we waved.
sae god lyk @ 1 of the bus stops whn passing by bt he didnt saw me..(hw sad)
thn saw my cuzon crossing the road 0.0 okae..
lol blah blah blah..thn painted nails n melody called
lol thn was lyk khup n cor n khup n cor haiix
i was so sad larhh i nearli cried agn hahs..
lost a fren
lost my mind
lost my hart
lost myself
lost my hopes
lost my tears
lost my feelings..
lost n gone~
i mean lyk haiix i feel so sad n miserable tt it has gone wae of my limits..
haiix i cnt chng thgs..i mean lyk if tis is wad the ppl wan..so b it
i mean lyk if i tink of it more..
i wil commit suiside soon
haiix hope all wnds well..haiix broken n torn

hahs i m crazy..so i shal list thm dwn.
when i m:
EMOi wil sae tis:
i hate my presence..
dying may b the key to everithg?
yy nt jus end it all here? hahs for me to die?
i mean lyk wads the point of life whn nthg is ryte?
cry n cutting crying n cutting..anw we will die 1 dae?
yy nt jus end it the wae u wan? jump dwn a building?drowning?
hahs leave me rotting n hurt..i will die anw.
HAPPIi will sae:
we live everidae lyk ani other
yy b sad whn u cn b happi?
sad n happi, its stil a dae? yy make life sad?
miserable is nt the key..
look on the bright side of life hahs all will cum to an end
no matter gd or bad life has to go on anw?
so cheer up^^.
ANGRYi will sae:
fuck off larhh i dont nid all yr help n care
i m jus a pathetice person
its none of yr business anw hu r u to care?
so fuck off larhh u so big arh? go awae larhh.
SADi will sae:
yy is tis happening to me?
du i deserve to b treated lyk tis? m i a puppet?
haiix du i live for a reason?
(i wuld b crying too)
HIGHi will sae:
hahahhahahahahaah~yayayayayay~~!!
thn i will tok n tok n tok
thn i will jump n run n jump hahs
hyper all the wae n jus cnt stop^^
CRAZYi will sae:
lol practically du everithg @ the same tyme lorhh
hahs so whn u c i mood swing dam fast..tts whn i m crazy
lol practically crazy all the tyme..
lol is is me hahs lol although i emo n crazy most of the tyme hahs..tt is vivien tan=ME!